By now, you'll have realized the word "ghoulies" is a British euphemism for "happy sack." In fact, as this is a Rare game that's been in development for over two years, and comes from the creators of classic UK gaming experiences such as Atic-Atac and Saber Wulf, as well as those responsible for Banjo-Kazooie, you should be fully-versed in the risqu humor pioneered by those chaps working in the barn in Twycross. When the ginger-bearded, clammy-handed groundskeeper Fiddlesworth asks the star of the game -- Cooper -- to "massage my marrow," you know that Microsoft testers are currently explaining to the ESRB that these comments are in no way meant to imply anything other than an invitation to caress a root vegetable and a short lesson in horticulture. If you're looking for a game aimed squarely at the screaming 8-12 crowd, but with hundreds of references that adults will enjoy, then you should seriously be considering a trek down to the spooky Ghoulhaven mansion this Halloween.

Hangin' With Mr. Cooper

At Microsoft's E3 2003 video unveiling of Rare's upcoming titles, some scallywag from the peanut gallery yelled, "Oh god, what were you thinking?" when the spiky-haired Cooper appeared to trot around a room, punching out zombies. And, while it's true that the 12-year-old kid you play as comes dangerously close to having the personality of Bubsy the Bobcat, Rare seems to have specifically toned him down so that he's an extension of you, rather than a bear with a bird in a knapsack with you along for the ride. This more personable side of gaming throws you into a plot early on. While hiking to a nearby settlement called Needle-in-the-Nuts (whoops; the ESRB didn't like that -- an "E" rating is maintained by Rare changing the town name to Ghoulsville), Cooper and his cootie-filled female friend/main squeeze Amber (delete depending on whether puberty has hit you) spot a gigantic sprawling mansion named Ghoulhaven. It only takes a brief moment of indiscretion for Amber to be (naturally) kidnapped, while Cooper peers around a gigantic main door in the twilight, flashlight in hand, moustache wafting in the stale breeze, and utters an Italian-sounding, "'Ello?"

One of many weapons to extinguish enemies.
Ooops. Wrong game. But you'd be forgiven for thinking Rare has knocked off Nintendo's vacuum-sucking, ghost-hunting romp with an initial expedition that begins like Luigi's Mansion Light. Partly because the graphics are incredible -- at no point do you ever have to suspend your disbelief that you're not involved in an interactive cartoon due to dodgy polygons; the lighting, colors, creatures, and even mansion objects -- but also because the premise of the game is almost identical. You have 100 rooms to visit. Once you're inside the room, you've a task to accomplish before the exit door unlocks. Then you move on to the next room. Action-platform fans may well be shedding a tear at the thought of the game guiding you completely through the adventure (you have only one exit, no alternate routes throughout the game, and only a total of 60 different environments to waddle through), but to them we say, "Get over it!" The action inside each chamber is the real test of Rare's ingenuity.