In the world of first-person shooters, Serious Sam is the equivalent of the Evil Dead series. It's essentially a parody of its peers, but still makes great pains to ensure it kicks plenty of buttocks. It's been almost three years since Sam's last appearance on Xbox. In that time, we've seen a lot of good FPSs on the console: Halo 2, Riddick, Project Snowblind, FarCry Instincts … the list goes on and on. Comparing Serious Sam to these complex titles would leave it looking like their retarded, out-of-control cousin; instead, stealth, mission-based gameplay, and all those other new-fangled nuances go flying out the window in a hail of old-school gunfire and wry one-liners.

Where this game excels is pure carnage. Your only care in the world is ridding the area of the countless ghouls, beasts, and giants that continually spawn around you. I can sum up Serious Sam II quite easily: Sam runs across some small enemies, and slaughters them. Countless reinforcement enemies show up, and they all get mowed down. A larger, more imposing enemy joins the fray, requiring more bang to beat down. Then, several more incarnations of that big enemy surround you.

It's a simple concept, but the gameplay is brutal, effective, and entertaining. Sam's arsenal is chockfull of great accoutrements -- from dual Uzis to trained parrots carrying bombs. The enemies are equally varied, and require some thought as to which weapon to wield when you come across them. Don't think too long, though, or you'll be overrun by minions who will use your femur splinters to pick your flesh out of their teeth. This baby nary lets up for a second.


Rather than going short and sweet, however, Serious Sam II is a pretty lengthy game. You tackle five worlds looking for clichéd pieces of the "Medallion of Power." Each world takes a few hours to run through, so you'll be at it for a while. In that time, though, you'll run across some points that are less than fun. Once, I had a dozen football-player types relentlessly charging toward me -- killing me repeatedly. Other times, you just kind of sigh to yourself and ask, "When is thing part going to end?" Don't get me wrong, though -- by and large, the game's a good time.

Sam II's story would be (intentionally) lame if it weren't for its humor. I didn't find Sam II as funny as the developers probably hoped -- he's just a bit too generic for his own good -- but you'll laugh more than a few times.

Sam II does offer more variety than its predecessor, with varying degrees of success. Vehicle sections are sweet, and the added armor and mobility gives the game an excuse to throw even more havoc in your direction. The same can be said of the turret portions. Sam II tries using a fancy physics engine to enhance secret-searching, but I found it pretty awful. It took me literally 10 minutes to make a stack of crates stable enough to reach a higher elevation. They kept toppling over.